Realization

Today's Sunday. And thank the Lord there's no school tomorrow. This means I use that extra day to work, but I prefer doing that than doing absolutely nothing.

My dad drove me to my boyfriend's house after mass ended. I was still in my black dress. I laughed silently to myself as I texted my friend during the twenty minute ride. I should have brought a change of clothes.

Finally, my dad pulled up alongside my boyfriend's house, and I stuck my phone in my purse and opened the door, stepping out and walking to the door. I rang the doorbell and waited.

After a few minutes, the door was pulled open by none other than my sweet boyfriend himself. I smiled and then turned and waved "bye" to my dad as he drove away.

"Hey." I said with the smile still on my face.

"Hi." My boyfriend replied, smiling as well.

He stepped aside to let me in.

"I like your dress."

"Thanks. You realize this is your favorite dress on me, right?"

"Of course I do." He hugged me, and then kissed me. I got butterflies in my stomach; it never fails. I'll never get used to his kisses. They're always special to me.

We broke apart and resorted to sitting on the couch. "I'm sleepy." He said.

"Why, you didn't sleep well last night?" I asked.

"It's 'cause I was watching a cool show on TV and I didn't get to sleep until five in the morning."

I laughed. "Wow. You're an idiot."

He laughed as well. "Can I sleep on your lap?"

My smile faded. "What did I come over for? To be your pillow or to hang out and talk?"

"Come on, just for twenty minutes."

I sighed. "You can sleep when I leave."

He fell silent. We were both silent. After awhile, I got frustrated and said, "Fine, you can sleep."

He looked at me worriedly. "You're mad, aren't you?"

I huffed and looked away from him.

He sighed and scooted closer to me. "Hey, let's talk about this. I'm sorry for saying that."

I remained quiet, so he continued.

"Alright, imagine your boyfriend tells you he cheated on a test."

I kept myself from rolling my eyes. He's gonna tell a story now? To prove what?

"Let's say he got used to doing that until he met you, and he's been trying to stop and become better, just for you. You get mad and ask, 'How could you do that?' and a bunch of other questions. He won't feel as confident as he was before in trying to defeat that imperfection, because you got mad and made it seem like he'll never defeat it. I don't agree with the term 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' In a way, yeah it does, and you learn from it, but it still leaves a scar."

He paused a bit before continuing.

"Love keeps no record of wrongs. You get where I'm going with this?"

I finally spoke up, "That whenever I get mad at you it makes you feel like you can't do anything?"

He nodded with a grim smile.

My eyes widened and he continued:

"My mom, when I tell her I did something I know is bad, she just tells me, 'Well, okay. I can't do anything to punish you since you already know it's bad. Just don't do it again.' She doesn't get mad. She already taught me right from wrong when I was little, so not getting mad and trusting I won't do it again helps me. It also helps the relationship."

I rested my head on his shoulder, speechless.

"Why do you think I don't get mad at you? I want you to feel confident with yourself and feel like you can fix whatever you did wrong. Now, I might get mad at the situation, but not at you. Never at you."

I smiled and looked at him. "Thank you. I'll try not to get mad at you anymore."

He smiled as well. "Love is really unique. It's an opportunity to be with someone who believes that you're perfect the way you are."

"You're absolutely right. Just because I have anger issues doesn't mean I can't control them." I replied, and smiled.

The rest of that day, we were happy with each other; we watched Supernatural and had a good time laughing and poking each other as we watched it.

It seemed like our relationship grew even stronger because of that talk. It was the first time I realized what my anger does to a person. And I intend on stopping that and becoming better, and not just for him, but for my friends and family as well.